How did it all started...

It's 11:36 PM (manila time) and I just can't sleep... Every night I am always thinking about him.
It's been 2 years and 5 months since we became a couple... But there's something wrong with us, I am the other woman.

When I was a kid, I always dream of having a good a family. It's not easy growing up from a broken family. You always long for a love of someone. You always want to be the center of anybody's attention. I even told myself that, I will not fail; I will have my own family and will never break anyone's family. Or so I thought. I ate my words.

I had a failed marriage, my ex husband was so immature and irresponsible, plus he is also a womanizer. We separated because I can no longer take it. The fight, the endless night that you can't sleep and maybe because we both had fallen out of love.

After the break up, I was crashed and broken into pieces, but I was able to move on with the help of friends and family. I am very positive person. I always look on the brighter side, so moving on was never a problem. I got a good paying career, I easily got promoted and I am happy with my life and my kid.

Until I met this guy. He is somewhat different from other guys that I met. At first I didn’t like him, not at all. I find him maangas (proud) and unapproachable. But he was persistent. So after almost a year, we were in a relationship. Long distance though. He is in the military(US) and that's all that I know about him. Day by day I get to know him but not as a married man.

We were happy. As we moved from day 1 of the relationship, many people were trying to ruin us. I am already hearing things like, he's married, he has children yada yada. I asked him but he denied it. So I trusted him. Until, one day, my best friend from US told me he was indeed married, with kids and a wife. I was devastated. Of course he denied it.

So one day, while driving along edsa, I received a call. Unknown number. I felt stunned when I heard her voice telling me, she's the wife. I don’t know what comes into my mind during those times. Should I tell her the truth or deny it. I choose the later.

I told her I do not know them nor him. I felt crashed one more time. Hurt is all I could feel.

So to make the long story short, he admitted it and said sorry. I love him and I forgave him.
That's a stupid move, but I did it. With a spark of hope that we'll be together soon.

It's been 2 years and we're still together. I know and I can feel he loves me. But there are times that I want to give him up. Especially if my conscience kicks me.

We're not together but we're intimate, we love each other and we always talk.

I am a mistress for 2 years. And I get the hang of it. At first I don’t want to call myself that way, but I am that person. And I don’t know till when...