he said he loves me

There are many times I doubted his intentions... But every time I am in doubt, he was ready to prove it out. Except for one thing, he can't leave his wife as of yet... He said, he's staying for the kids, he's waiting till his contract ends and trying to wait for the chance to break it up to her... All have been said, not yet done...

He said he loves me... He said he is going to divorce her.. I am always hoping and looking forward on to that for almost 3 years.

How did it all started...

It's 11:36 PM (manila time) and I just can't sleep... Every night I am always thinking about him.
It's been 2 years and 5 months since we became a couple... But there's something wrong with us, I am the other woman.

When I was a kid, I always dream of having a good a family. It's not easy growing up from a broken family. You always long for a love of someone. You always want to be the center of anybody's attention. I even told myself that, I will not fail; I will have my own family and will never break anyone's family. Or so I thought. I ate my words.

I had a failed marriage, my ex husband was so immature and irresponsible, plus he is also a womanizer. We separated because I can no longer take it. The fight, the endless night that you can't sleep and maybe because we both had fallen out of love.

After the break up, I was crashed and broken into pieces, but I was able to move on with the help of friends and family. I am very positive person. I always look on the brighter side, so moving on was never a problem. I got a good paying career, I easily got promoted and I am happy with my life and my kid.

Until I met this guy. He is somewhat different from other guys that I met. At first I didn’t like him, not at all. I find him maangas (proud) and unapproachable. But he was persistent. So after almost a year, we were in a relationship. Long distance though. He is in the military(US) and that's all that I know about him. Day by day I get to know him but not as a married man.

We were happy. As we moved from day 1 of the relationship, many people were trying to ruin us. I am already hearing things like, he's married, he has children yada yada. I asked him but he denied it. So I trusted him. Until, one day, my best friend from US told me he was indeed married, with kids and a wife. I was devastated. Of course he denied it.

So one day, while driving along edsa, I received a call. Unknown number. I felt stunned when I heard her voice telling me, she's the wife. I don’t know what comes into my mind during those times. Should I tell her the truth or deny it. I choose the later.

I told her I do not know them nor him. I felt crashed one more time. Hurt is all I could feel.

So to make the long story short, he admitted it and said sorry. I love him and I forgave him.
That's a stupid move, but I did it. With a spark of hope that we'll be together soon.

It's been 2 years and we're still together. I know and I can feel he loves me. But there are times that I want to give him up. Especially if my conscience kicks me.

We're not together but we're intimate, we love each other and we always talk.

I am a mistress for 2 years. And I get the hang of it. At first I don’t want to call myself that way, but I am that person. And I don’t know till when...

My Confession...

I am missy and this is a journal about my life. My life as a mistress.



Missy is not my real name. I need to hide it to protect my family, friends and my kid. They don't know my real situation. You see, It's difficult to be in this kind of scenario wherein your conscience and your principle is your number 1 enemy.



I can accept criticisms, but I am not a criminal, nor a bad person. I know many of you would pre-judge a person like me, however, I am just like you, a person who falls in love, fight for what she believes in no matter how difficult and impossible the situation is.



This is my journey, my thoughts, my emotions and my struggles. Being a mistress is unacceptable in the society. Women like me are being called home wrecker, biatch or the villain. But what can I do? I am a woman in love...



You may want to hear my story to see the other side of what's happening. People give their symphathy to the cheated wife or girlfriend, but they dont know what's the real score, why did it happend or why did he cheated.



I'll open your eyes to the reality and I hope your open minded enough to hear it from me...